When disputes arise it’s so easy to be re-living the circumstances relating to the dispute in your mind, and feel stuck in what was, and what is. Dispute Resolution is a pro-active approach to finding a solution, and in essence, finding a way to move from the past, moving you through the present, and finding resolution, a certain level of closure, and a path forward to the future.
During a joint session of mediation, we start by setting the agenda for the meeting, but then it is over to you. The next stage is about generating possible ideas and options on each agenda item with the view to moving forward.
When people are faced with a problem they either
b) Ignore and bury their head in the sand; or
c) Run away.
To achieve the above, we need to halt the blame, and look towards the future. Our mediation process helps to guide you in the right direction.
Litigation is an adversarial process. It is necessary to have the evidence to prove your case. The judge makes a decision on the best evidence available including fault and how the situation came about.
Mediation is not about the past. Mediation is about acknowledging the situation you find yourself in, accepting responsibility for your contribution to how it has arisen and suggesting ways forward. Those suggestions can then be discussed together and evaluated from everyone’s perspective.
If you need to take time out to think, that is okay. It can get overwhelming. It is not uncommon to have a private session with the mediator. The mediator will check in with you about how the mediation is going for you and ask questions about the options that are being put forward while reality test them as possible outcomes for you. The mediator will spend a similar amount of time with the other person before the joint session resuming for further negotiations.
It is through questions that the mediator keeps everyone on track and focused on an outcome acceptable to everyone. Plan to move away from blame, and rather shift your focus onto your future, and all the positive aspects you can look forward to.